Some anonymous poster asked me, "why do you hate us so much??"
YOU personally? I have nothing against you, anonymous poster, personally. The tiffs I have with the Olsen twins are that they are fake, stupid, and I'm certain they've got some subliminal message hidden in one of their devil-spawned Wal-mart merchandises.
The peroxide they use to dye their hair must've eaten through their skulls IF THEY KEEP ON HAVING SHOWS WHICH NEVER LAST. They had like four shows which had the same premise!! Parents are disgustingly understanding and loving, they have totally popular friends [LyKe YaY! LOL :-*], and they always seem to make Britney Spears look good. Plus, they're "such ordinary teen girls with ordinary teen problems, like acne and trying to take over the world!" Please. I'd sooner believe that Strom Thurmond would've made a great representative for the African American community than that butt-load of shit.
Here's a little something from www.olsentwins.com, to let you see what I mean:
"Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen play teenage girls, Riley and Chloe Carlson, in their new television series So Little Time on Fox Family Channel. Riley and Chloe, too, have the everyday problems teenage girls face, on top of dealing with their two very different, somewhat bizarre separated parents. Their mom, Macy Carlson, lives in a dream beach house in Malibu, California and has a glamour job as a high fashion designer and very successful executive."
"Their dad, Jake Carlson, has decided to 'find himself' and move his new home on wheels--a tiny trailer--right next door. So different, but they still have their two daughters in common and the love they have for them. Somehow this makes the family functional in its own peculiar way. Add a Latino housekeeper to the mix, an over the top friend who is obsessed with Riley, and a beautiful exotic fashion model friend, and you've got a hilarious recipe!"
Oh, please! Please stop with the sypnosis! Just reading it sends full-throttled guffaws in my lower abdomen. Too hilarious. Too ... all right, let's stop with the sarcasm.
To sum it all up, how many "seemingly ordinary teen girls" with "seemingly ordinary teen girl problems" have:
- names like Chloe and Riley?
- a mom who lives in a dream beach house in Malibu and has a glamour job as a high fashion designer and very successful executive?
- a Latino housekeeper? Or just a HOUSEKEEPER for that matter? And why the hell is he a minority?
- a friend which OBESSES over you?
- and have a beautiful exotic model for a friend?
And their movies are ALL the same:
- go to a foreign country and meet oh-so-cute boys who fall madly in love with them.
- solve some-type of mystery which is irrelevant to life.
The infinite reason why I hate them most is because they give unreasonable hope to junior-high kids, making them believe that if you can star in a hit television series with your other disillusioned twin, you too can become a star! I also believe that they're just there to take up the scenery. Since when have you heard of some kind of charity funded by these blonde-enforcing stereotypes? NONE whatsoever!
I hope these OLSEN TWINS read this, get off their pink-painted asses and write to me. I want to interview them and pound them to the friggin' wall. I want to expose their underground brothels and illegal cock-fighting rings. I want to rid the world of these disgusting self-righteous bitches.
If you, anonymous poster, are indeed an Olsen twin which you have insinuated in your post, AIM me at rockmymunkisocks.